The Not Normal Glass Guide
🥂 THE NOT NORMAL GLASS GUIDE
Because not every beer deserves the same damn cup.
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🐮 Intro: Read this before you pour
Every beer has a personality. Some are sweet, some are bitter, some are weirdly both and the glass you pour them into decides who they become.
Think of it like dating: wrong match, awkward night. Right match, pure magic (and maybe regret).
This is your quick, chaotic crash course in drinking smarter and looking cooler doing it.
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🍯 1. The Tulip
Sweet, deep, and dangerously Belgian.
The tulip is like a soft-spoken monk who secretly loves attention. Its curvy shape holds the heavy sweetness of big Belgian ales, Tripels, Dubbels, Quadrupels and lets all those caramel, banana and spice notes whisper their gospel straight into your nose.
It’s the glass for beers that don’t rush. Beers that tell you to sit down, shut up, and feel the sugar.
Best for: Belgian Ales, Tripels, Dubbels, Quadrupels.
Not for: Light, crisp beers that think “aroma” is a personality.
“Tulip knows how to smell Flemish but not to speak it.”
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🍷 2. The Teku
The glass that makes beer feel smarter than it is.
Born in Italy, because of course it was. The Teku was designed by a sommelier and a designer who couldn’t decide if they were drinking beer or wine.
It’s sharp, elegant, and a little pretentious but it earns it. The Teku traps aroma like a secret, focuses flavour like a laser, and makes every sip feel like a revelation.
It’s probably the closest you’ll ever get to an all-round glass, though some beers are just too wild, too bubbly, or too boring for it.
It’s the cow’s personal favourite: classy enough for Instagram, weird enough for Not Milk.
Best for: Dessert Sours, Fruity IPAs, Saisons, Belgian Tripels, Barrel-aged anything.
Not for: Lagers, light ales, or anything that needs to be chugged cold and fast.
“The Teku doesn’t drink beer. It studies it.”
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🥤 3. The Can Glass
Simple. Honest. A little bit dumb but in a lovable way.
No curves, no stem, no overthinking. It’s shaped like a can because, well, beer cans are sexy now. The Can Glass doesn’t care about “aroma retention” or “mouthfeel philosophy”. It just wants to hang out, be cold, and get refilled.
It’s the friend who never judges how many beers you’ve had, only that you’re having a good time.
Best for: Lagers, Pale Ales, Light IPAs, or “I’ll just have one more”-moments.
Not for: Pastry stouts, Belgian ales, or anything that thinks it deserves attention.
“It’s not a glass. It’s a lifestyle choice.”
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🍸 4. The Stemmed Can
Because even chaos deserves a stem.
Half can, half wine glass, it’s like your beer put on a suit just to spill it. The stem keeps your hands off the heat (and the mess off your lap), while the shape gives rich, sweet beers room to breathe their dessert dreams.
It’s elegant, but not uptight. Classy, but clearly drunk.
This one’s a wild one but with the right beer, also the perfect one.
The kind of glass that makes sweet, thick beers feel like liquid art (or liquid regret, depending on your night).
Best for: Pastry Stouts, Dessert Ales, Imperial Porters... well anything sweet, thick, or unapologetically extra.
Not for: Crisp, bubbly beers or anything pretending to be refreshing.
“Stemmed Can, because even milk needs a moment.”
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🥃 5. The Snifter
Small, round, and built for beers that need a warning label.
The Snifter doesn’t do light. It’s for beers that smell like a library on fire. Heavy, boozy, deep. The kind of beer you sip slowly while pretending you understand jazz.
It traps aroma, softens the alcohol burn, and turns every swirl into a small therapy session for your taste buds.
This is where flavours don’t just show up, they move in, argue about rent, and never leave.
Best for: Barley Wines, Strong Ales, Imperial Stouts, Barrel-aged beasts, and bold Strong Lagers that refuse to behave.
Not for: Anything below 7% or anything you’d drink standing up.
“The Snifter doesn’t chase flavours, it traps them and makes them talk.”
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🍺 6. The Pilsner Glass
Tall, proud, and refreshingly boring in the best possible way.
No curves, no attitude, no confusion. Just crisp, cold perfection.
The Pilsner glass doesn’t care about “aroma complexity” or “mouthfeel philosophy” it’s here to do one job: make your beer look and taste clean.
It’s the glass equivalent of fresh sheets or a cold shower after bad decisions.
Simple, efficient, honest. Sometimes that’s all you need.
Best for: Lagers, Helles, Kölsch, Strong Lagers and all beers that just want to be beer.
Not for: Anything thick, creamy, or fruity enough to count as a smoothie.
“Pilsner glass, because not every beer needs therapy.”
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🌾 7. The Weizen Glass
The drama queen of glasses.
Tall, curvy and impossible to ignore it’s like the glass version of a German soap opera. Built to handle mountains of foam and gallons of banana-scented chaos, the Weizen glass doesn’t whisper. It performs.
It’s for beers that smell like summer and taste like nostalgia. The kind that makes you dream of sunny terraces and warm schnitzels in the snowy Alps.
Best for: Hefeweizen, Witbier, Dunkelweizen. Basically anything wheaty, fruity, or loud.
Not for: Heavy stouts, sours, or beers that take themselves too seriously.
“Weizen doesn’t hold beer, it hosts a party.”
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🍻 The Beer Mug
The glass that does not try to impress anyone.
Thick walls. Heavy base. A handle you can trust.
The Beer Mug is made for company, laughter and the kind of night that goes longer than expected.
It keeps the beer cold. It feels solid in the hand. It invites refills without judgement.
This is the glass of beer gardens, loud tables and stories that always start with “and then suddenly”.
No elegance. Just good times.
Best for: Pilsner, Märzen, Vienna Lager, Helles, Dunkel
Not for: Imperial Stout, Barleywine, Belgian Tripel, Lambic, Mixed Fermentation Sours
"The Beer Mug is not here to taste. It is here to toast."
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🍺 The IPA Glass
The glass that takes hops way too seriously.
Built to amplify smell and flavor. The shape gathers aroma and sends it straight to your nose before you even sip.
If the beer has citrus, pine, mango or passionfruit notes, this glass will make them shine like stage lights.
If the beer is boring, the glass will also make that obvious.
It is honest. Sometimes brutally.
Best for: Hazy IPA, DDH IPA, American Pale Ale, West Coast IPA, Session IPA
Not for: Hefeweizen, Irish Red Ale, Brown Ale, Rauchbier, Stout
"The IPA Glass does not serve hops. It celebrates them."
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🧠 THE NOT NORMAL BEER SCIENCE SECTION
If you want to highlight bitterness →
Go narrow and crisp.
Pilsner or can glass. They keep it sharp, cold, and honest.
“Like licking a battery, but in a good way.” ⚡️
If you want to highlight sweetness →
Go round and curvy.
Tulip, Snifter or Stemmed Can — they hug the beer and let the sugar talk.
“Because some beers just want to cuddle.” 🍯
If you want to highlight aroma →
Go tight at the top.
Tulip or Teku. They trap the scent and whisper it right up your nose.
“For beers that smell smarter than you.” 👃
If you want to show off the foam →
Go tall and dramatic.
Weizen glass. It's built for head (foam, obviously) and theatre.
“The taller the glass, the bigger the ego.” 🎭
If you want to highlight carbonation and freshness →
Go slim and clean.
Pilsner glass. It keeps the bubbles alive and the soul refreshed.
“Because flat beer is just soup.” 💨
If you want to focus on complexity →
Go closed and concentrated.
Teku or Snifter. Swirl, sniff, pretend you know what ‘esters’ mean.
“Complex beers deserve complicated people.” 🧘♂️
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🌡️ Temperature: Because Warm Beer is Just Sad
Stem = colder, longer.
Keeps your hands off the heat, perfect for beers that deserve patience.
Thick glass = cozy chaos.
Traps warmth, lets heavy beers open up and show off.
No stem = drink fast, live dangerously.
Can glasses warm quick, but so do your decisions.
“Temperature control is just foreplay for flavour.” 🔥
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🪩 Material & Feel: Because Texture Tells a Story
Thin glass = sharp detail.
Faster, colder, cleaner. Great for lagers and sours.
Thick glass = slow comfort.
Holds warmth, softens edges. Perfect for stouts and nostalgia.
Frosted glass = crime scene.
Kills aroma, kills flavour, kills the vibe.
Crystal = fancy danger.
Amazing clarity, easy to break, like your self-control.
“The glass doesn’t just hold the beer, it decides how it treats you.” 🧊
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🧃 Outro: The Moral of the Pour
There’s no “right” glass.
Only the one that makes your beer feel seen.
So experiment. Break rules. Maybe even drink a stout from a teku just to annoy someone.
Because at the end of the day...